is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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