Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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