we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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