My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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