i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
