He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
