who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
