Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
