OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
