do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
