Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
