i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
