This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
