Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize