he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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