Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
