i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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