Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
