Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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