Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
it hurts more in the daytime
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
