Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
