Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
