Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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