Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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