ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
