what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
