Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
