This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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