dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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