Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
