I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
