Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
