i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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