He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
