I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
