im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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