Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
third nipple confirmed
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
