HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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