Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
