So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
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