he wants to bone in the snuggie
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
