Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize