I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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