i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
