guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
try to milk me bitch
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