Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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