So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
You were trust falling into bushes
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
