Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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