We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
