no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
