just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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