found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
