yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
