Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
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