I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize