what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
