didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
