Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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