the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
