he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
