4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
